Last weekend I moved my oldest daughter, Elli, into what had once been deemed her "someday room," the room she would have when she got old enough to be farther away from me at night. It's the room farthest from my bedroom where I might have trouble hearing her if she cries or she might have to weave her way down a hall to find me. When we moved into our home five years ago, it seemed like it would probably be many years before she would be big enough for her "someday room". Two nights ago, she spent her first night there. While moving Elli into her new room, I also removed the final remnants of baby from Makaylyn's room, no more changing table or rocking chair, just a big girl bed and big girl toys. I'll admit it. I cried. I am thrilled about the stage of life we are entering as a family, the growth I see in my children and in myself, but I am a little sad saying goodbye to where we've been too. I can't help but wonder if I cherished enough moments or will remember the way it felt to be mommy to such little people.
As I pondered these thoughts (my children were with grandparents, so I could hear my thoughts and had time to ponder them), I was struck by the truth about this next phase of life. My children need less of me... sort of. In the early days of parenting there are LOTS of physical needs to meet. Your children need you to clothe them, feed them, carry them from place to place, but as they quickly grow, they need all of that less. My kids can now feed themselves, even get there own food if it's down low enough. They can walk and talk and put on their shoes without me. It would be really easy to think the hardest, most tiring work is done, but I think the job is just changing.
As my kids need less of me physically, their need for my guidance spiritually and relationally is increasing. I am still tasked with being the builder of character and the molder of an obedient heart. To me, these responsibilities are more daunting. When you look around you, most adults walk and talk and take themselves potty, but they don't all live lives of selflessness, obedience, and integrity. My children could learn to feed themselves by imitating the way I used my fork and spoon, but am I confident in having them learn to value God's word or to treat others with love by imitating the way I live each day? Training my children spiritually takes thought and purposeful actions and words. Parenting is no longer focused on meeting developmental milestones and instead on discipling and training a heart. I am entering a phase of life where I no longer wake up praying fervent prayers for their physical life (you know those nights where you risk waking the baby just to be sure she's still breathing) and am instead waking up praying God will draw my children to Himself and that they will choose to follow where He leads.
As I pondered these thoughts (my children were with grandparents, so I could hear my thoughts and had time to ponder them), I was struck by the truth about this next phase of life. My children need less of me... sort of. In the early days of parenting there are LOTS of physical needs to meet. Your children need you to clothe them, feed them, carry them from place to place, but as they quickly grow, they need all of that less. My kids can now feed themselves, even get there own food if it's down low enough. They can walk and talk and put on their shoes without me. It would be really easy to think the hardest, most tiring work is done, but I think the job is just changing.
As my kids need less of me physically, their need for my guidance spiritually and relationally is increasing. I am still tasked with being the builder of character and the molder of an obedient heart. To me, these responsibilities are more daunting. When you look around you, most adults walk and talk and take themselves potty, but they don't all live lives of selflessness, obedience, and integrity. My children could learn to feed themselves by imitating the way I used my fork and spoon, but am I confident in having them learn to value God's word or to treat others with love by imitating the way I live each day? Training my children spiritually takes thought and purposeful actions and words. Parenting is no longer focused on meeting developmental milestones and instead on discipling and training a heart. I am entering a phase of life where I no longer wake up praying fervent prayers for their physical life (you know those nights where you risk waking the baby just to be sure she's still breathing) and am instead waking up praying God will draw my children to Himself and that they will choose to follow where He leads.
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